One of the things
that has been brought up over the years is the question as tp the value of
women's gatherings where there seems to be a lot of talking and little focus on
“actions” to be taken. In my experience with the organization of Gather theWomen Global Matrix, the Conveners have always held the line at gathering,
experiencing Circle Principles, staying in that commitment. They have indicated
that Gather the Women is not to become an activist organization. It wasn’t until
I gathered and attended my own circle with sisters in Seattle, WA that I came to
understand the value of what I had heard from so many GTW Conveners over the
years.
Here is what I have
learned. I hope it will be helpful to others who are called to be in the
gathering of women. I will not share the concepts in any particular order, just
that they emerged and came together for me.
First, I have
learned the value of emergence. As I let myself say “yes” to an invitation to
be with other women just because I felt an inner “yes”, I realized that the
gift could not be described by a flyer or conversation. The gift was unformed
until I showed up, mingled with the others who showed up and stayed in the
heart of connecting. The stated “purpose” of the gathering was not the
“purpose” or gift that emerged for me.
I saw this modeled
impeccably at the Women of Spirit and Faith’s Alchemy gathering in 2013. The
conveners were in constant communication as they observed what ideas, concerns,
and gifting presentations emerged throughout each day. These emerging pieces
were woven into the gathering as if they had been in the original plan. They
certainly had outlined the week-end and yet were committed to let the workshop
unfold moment by moment. So Emergence happens when women get together, share
and listen.
Second, I learned
to understand Paradoxes more deeply. Paradox: something (such as a situation) that is made up
of two opposite things that
seem impossible or contradictory but actually both have value and are true or
possible.
The paradox that
shows us in circles is male/left brain leadership and female/right brain
leadership. These terms are very general however, the discussion needs a way to
distinguish these two styles of leading.
The male model is
top-down. The leader gives the directives and those in positions under him have
their jobs in order to meet the goal that has been set. We are very familiar
with this style and it has value.
The female model is
collaborative. The space is open for discussion, conversations, all being seen
and treated equally. One idea may lead to another idea. One possibility will
trigger another possibility. Often, although there is value, this model has
been discredited as a waste of time.
When building with
paradoxes, one must realize that you cannot build the strongest system with
just one of the two legs. Too much top-down and the workers feel disenchanted,
unheard and a divide is created. Too much collaborative conversation and one
can become bored and lost in a sea of words with no forward moving.
The answer is to
work with inclusion of both in appropriate measure.
This brings me to
the Circle Principles of Gather the Women.
Women have been
raised in a society that has discriminated in favor of men. We have not been
taught to know, experience and understand HOW we naturally assess, design and
lead. The model we have been given is top down, claw your way to the top, as we
have seen men do. What we get to experience in Circles is the space of safety
to share, respectful listening of what our voices speak from heart. All of
these require time, space and are the foundation of collaboration. And
Collaboration is fundamental to women. It allows space for evaluation of her
world, creative field of ideas for her re-design and a unified supportive model
for her roles leadership.
Knowing when to
move from female/collaborative space into male/top-down leadership is what will
make the difference as women participate in changing the world.
I have come to see
Circle work as the space to re-awaken women’s voices and re-acquaint them to
themselves as leaders.
The other concept
that I found intriguing after years with my circle is the murmuration principle.
You may know this word as it is applied to the family of birds called
starlings. There are many youtube videos showing the murmuration flight of
starlings. To understand how this applies, check out a murmuration video and
then search for a geese in flight video. You will see two very different ways
of flying from here to there. They are excellent examples of top-down
leadership and collaborative leadership.
The geese fly in a
V formation. As the point goose gets tired, another goose from the V flies up
to take the lead point. All of the others stay in a pretty tight formation
behind the leader.
The starlings, however, dance from on
location to another. They are certainly in a committed “field”. Yet, they
freely take “side” trips along the way, maybe a new air current, an desire to
try a new turn skill, or whatever might intrigue a starling to dance as the
greater “field” moves along. That is what women do. A circle is a committed
community of caring women. Yet, within that circle, an idea for action might
come up. In mumuration, it is not expected that the entire “field” follow the
bird with the idea for action, not is there any movement to stop the action. So
one, two or twenty birds will dance with the new idea, take action in that
direction while never losing sight or contact with the “field”.
In a top-down
model, that would be considered breaking up or fracturing the formation of the
group.
I have come to understand that it is women's
circles using the principles of respectful listening, confidence with each
other's words, voicing what is in the heart and being present with what emerges
that women are re-learning their way of contribution and of leading. The world
will shift when women step into their place of designing a world that is Good for All and commands that all distracts, diminishes or destroys that Good be removed.
Much love to all of you!
